I serve people that are now referred to as The Adoption Constellation. For many years we used the language Adoption Triad in speaking and writing about those of us affected by adoption: adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. The years have taught us that we need to be more inclusive. A perfect example of the ripple effect within a family is an important part of my story.
One of my most difficult struggles came from not knowing how to relate to my Birth Father’s other children. For fourteen years after reuniting with my Birth Mom, I agonized over the decision to locate them. Information I had gathered told me they knew nothing about me. How could I be the bearer of what would likely be unwelcome news about a secret chapter in the life of their (our) father? If they chose to have a relationship with me, would it in any way represent a betrayal of their (not my) late mother?
Eventually I came to appreciate how ubiquitous the consequences of relinquishment and adoption are. When I finally stepped into the void and reached out to them, I found them not only accepting, but relieved that the brother they had known of and wondered about for years had surfaced at last. In fact, our relationship led them to a deeper understanding of the challenges our late father endured as they helped me to know him through their memories.
The affects of adoption are far reaching and everyone deserves to have their questions and concerns addressed openly and honestly; siblings, spouses, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, cousins,…
All are welcome in my practice.