Empower U

Thank God It’s Monday- T.G.I.M.~ Eric Thomas

Monday is not quite over. Most of us waste Sunday dreading Monday’s but you made it another day, somebody did not make it today. Monday is the day to make changes that will guide you into Tuesday, start, fresh, rejuvenated, energized and ready to tackle what’s ahead of you and move closer to your goals.

You can turn nothing into something. You can achieve your goals. You have to stay focused. You have to strong. You may have to have one less glass of wine– or your drink of preference– if it’s not water. You may have to smoke one less cigarette– or your drug of preference. You have to be ready to face life head on and take it on with a clear mind to start making clearer and smarter decisions for your life.

Here is a link to motivate you to outlast your challenges, obstacles, your inner voice that keeps saying “I can’t” or “I don’t know how.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=r3MxMfzWfbE

It won’t be easy but you can do it. As always, the choice is yours.

Jamillah Foulkes~Empower U

“True friends are those who came into your life, saw the most negative part of you, but are not ready to leave you, no matter how contagious you are to them.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson

Be careful who you share yourself with or it can eat away at your soul. Take the time to know someone for who they are– get to know their character. You are not their “ride or die” when you are riding alone. Do not be with anyone, friend or lover based on what you believe to be their “potential”. You have to work with what is directly standing before you. That is exactly where they are in their journey and that potential can go left when you thought it was going to go right.

You meet someone and fall in love then you are devastated when you turn around and they have betrayed you. Did they tell you about their past relationships? Did you invest the time to see If they have grown and learned from their mistakes? Everyone changes when they are ready. Are you going to be there for them until they get on track? That is if they decide to get onto the track. You do not and cannot enforce change onto someone who is not ready and fully invested.

You meet someone that you completely connect with and everything is going great– you found your BFF, then you realize that everything that you shared with them is now public information. Do they tell you intimate details of their previous friends or relationships that were supposed to be sacred, regardless of a falling out? It is not because they trust you that much to share, it is because they did not value ones trust in them enough to keep it sacred. Why would you be different?

When people show you who they are you cannot be disappointed when they continue the pattern. You are not that special to them to change who they are. They have to realize their own flaws in order to make change.

The people that are meant to be there for you will show you their character and maturity by having empathy, discretion and respect for your relationship with them and relationship with others — even if the relationship ends. The people that truly love and understand you will never leave or forsake you regardless of distance or time. Choose your relationships wisely and as always, the choice is yours.

Jamillah Foulkes~Empower U

When God puts you to the test it is because the devil is working overtime. Every time that you take steps and make any movement forward– that wall of obstacles appears. Everything that can go wrong– goes wrong. Everything that you have been telling yourself about why you can’t do something or shouldn’t do something starts to happen. You start to second guess your abilities and capabilities. You stop looking for resources that can help you to be better and progress and you start focusing on all the negative things that are happening. The devil listens to your fears and then presents them to you because he knows your weakness and does not want you to progress, gain peace, clarity and success. So why do you play into his hands and quit because something gets hard?

He just succeeded in making you believe that what you are trying to achieve is not possible. It is up to you to have enough faith to believe that you do not have to put things off for another day because an obstacle got in your way. It is up to you not to try and figure out plan B, C, etc.., you need to figure out how to achieve plan A and keep pushing forward. That is your moment of reassurance that you need to press forward and find a way to make things happen for you because you are headed in the right direction. You can scoot, crawl, slide, tip toe all in the forward direction.

“Some lean back. But those who lean forward are poised to cross the finish-line, first!” ― T.F. Hodge

It does not have to be a sprint to the finish line. It can be a marathon, one little movement forward towards your destination is farther than when you started. It is up to you and as always, the choice is yours.

Jamillah Foulkes~Empower U

“Someone was hurt before you, wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, beaten before you, humiliated before you, raped before you… yet, someone survived… You can do anything you choose to do.” –Maya Angelou

Do not allow your past to intimidate you from moving forward into your future. You are so much stronger than you realize. The fact that you survived and are here today should let you know that you have arrived. All you have to do now is thrive. You are so much stronger today than you were yesterday.

Do not let everything that you have endured be in vain. Everything that you have gone through has brought you closer to your destiny. Go out and do great things and remember to pay it forward.

As always, the choice is yours.

Jamillah Foulkes~Empower U

“God only rarely reveals the future. When he does so, it is for one reason: it’s a future that was written so as to be altered.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

God gave you the gift of intuition, USE IT!!! If you went to your friend and said friend, “I want to play the lotto but I’m not sure what numbers I should play”. Your friend then offers their opinions and ideas, you say thank you, go on you way and play the lotto– and win!!! Do you then go to that friend and say “I won the lotto!!! Here are a couple of thousands or millions for your advice”?– It then depends on how close you are to that friend– I’m just saying. However some of you would not do that. If you lose, you would then say “I should have used my own method, I knew that did not feel right”. On that same note, those of you that would not share are the people that would blame their friend because it did not work out yet claim all the credit when it does. Exaggerated scenario but the point is, take responsibility and accountability for your own action and choices that you have to make in life. You already have the intuition but many people do not listen to what it is telling them. Emotions can not make factual, clear and concise decisions.

Take that leap of faith, trust that God has revealed the answer, then do what is right. If you do not believe in a higher power you still have a brain that worked it all out and told you what to do, but your emotions are deflecting you. If you are that unsure, know that right is usually the hardest thing to do. When you know what action needs to be done, do not hesitate. That hesitation leads to distraction and uncertainty which causes you to lose focus. If you have to consult a friend that means you already have the answer, you are just looking for confirmation and reassurance. The conversation usually has an “I know” or “you’re right, but…”. No one can make decisions for you, only you. You have to live with your choices and live though the consequences– good, bad or indifferent.

As always, the choice is yours.

Jamillah Foulkes~Empower U

“I have learned, that the person I have to ask for forgiveness from the most is: myself. You must love yourself. You have to forgive yourself, everyday, whenever you remember a shortcoming, a flaw, you have to tell yourself “That’s just fine”. You have to forgive yourself so much, until you don’t even see those things anymore. Because that’s what love is like.” ~ C. JoyBell C.

You cannot love others and you cannot forgive others, if you cannot love and forgive yourself!!! Look at the fork in the road of life, more times than not when you are young, you go left. During your time on the left side of the road you realize that you belong on the other side of the road. It does not matter when you get to that realization!!! So you pick up your baggage, turn around, head back down to the peak of the fork and you drop your baggage along the way. It is a rocky road passing all the people, pain and destruction that manifested along that wrong side of the road– it will not be easy. However, every step that you take brings you closer to where you need to be– so let it go!!! Forgive yourself for the mistakes that you have made, ask for forgiveness of others as you walk down that road, and trust that you are now in a better place.

Question of the day:
Are you second guessing yourself and are afraid to take risks because you are holding on to the person you were that did not make the best decisions in the past?

— you are wiser
— you are stronger
— you are understanding
— you are forgiving
— YOU ARE ARMED WITH THE TOOLS OF LIFE AND KNOWLEDGE

You are now in a place where you are in total control of YOU. Release yourself from from the bondage of your past so that you can love and be loved. Most importantly so that you can make decisions for your life that bring you joy, fulfillment and success because you are worthy.

Feel free to share and as always, the choice is yours.

Jamillah Foulkes~Empower U

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month ~Unknown Author

There are multiple scenario’s and situations– too many to list, that can occur in your life where you can easily say it is ______’s fault– but is it really?

— _____ lied to me therefore….
— _____ caused me to lose my house therefore….
— _____ cheated on me therefore…
— _____ used to beat me as a child therefore…
— I did not get the promotion because _____…..

The question of the day:
Do you still blame others for the negative circumstances in your life today? If you are living, breathing, walking and talking at some point in your life you have wronged someone in your lifetime– intentionally or not. On the flip side we all have been wronged by someone else. Therefore if you are constantly blaming another for your life circumstances today, then you are constantly missing your opportunity to recover– and blaming them for that as well.

This is where the “but” is inserted in all your comments and thoughts. You have to dig deep and challenge your thought process for this one. What you are saying may be justifiable when it comes to the “who done it”, and what was done may indeed be someone else’s fault. You may not have seen it coming or had all the knowledge and information to make an impact at that moment “but” what is your role in rectifying it?

Things to think about in order to make better decisions today:

— how much time did you invest into getting to know someone’s character before you gave them your body and your heart?
— who is the only one that should be responsible for your shelter, food and clothing?
— your parents or guardian had legal control of you until you were 18 yrs of age– how old are you now?
— at what point in your life do you decide that you will do better for yourself?
— what are you doing to make a better life and choices for you today?

You cannot control someone else’s behavior “but” you have full control over your actions and thought process. There are many different circumstances that can break you. At what point do you stop focusing on the circumstances of your past and work on how to change your circumstance for tomorrow? You have all those answers, so what now what are going to do about it? Feel free to share and as always, the choice is yours.

When you spend time on the blame you forget about the recovery~Jamillah Foulkes~Empower U

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
~George Santayana

Moving forward towards your future requires a hard look at your past. It is a painful yet necessary place within yourself that you need to go in order to not repeat past mistakes and gain clarity of who you are and where you are today. That person was naive, in pain, misguided, manipulated, misunderstood, unaware, crying out for help and may at times felt helpless and alone. It will not be a pretty journey down memory lane, you may not even recognize that person, however, that person existed for a reason. The key is not to be judgmental of the person you were in your past, and introduce them to the person of your future.

It is okay to feel the hurt or various emotions and even mourn for the person you were and no longer recognize. It is also okay to rejoice and be thankful for the fact that you are no longer that person. The process is still necessary so that you can learn from your mistakes without regret, gain motivation to continue in your forward transformation, in addition, remain humble and thankful for where you are today and where you are headed. The biggest blessing of it all is that you now have empathy for others and can pay it forward by teaching others what you have learned.

Do not shy away from the person you were and do not place judgement on those who have not yet found their way– you were there once, do not judge. We will go on this journey together, for it is a process of continued learning.

Here are some questions I will be addressing over the next couple of days that you need to ask yourself and answer with clarity and honesty as we go on the journey together towards Empowering U:

– What have I done to ask forgiveness of those I have wronged, including myself?
– What steps have I taken in order to not repeat the mistakes of my past?
– What am I doing to awaken and strengthen my spiritual self?
– What steps have I taken to become a planner rather than a reactor of in my life?
– What am I doing to set healthy boundaries for relationships in my life?
– Have you and do you still blame others for the circumstances in your life today?
– Are you second guessing yourself and are afraid to take risks because you are holding on to the person you were that did not make the best decisions in the past?
– Do you find it hard to let go of things from your past?

Feel free to share and as always the choice is yours.

Jamillah Foulkes~Empower U

Loyal vs Abuse, to be or not to be… That is the question?

Ephesians 6:1-4 ESV: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

Some parents verbally abuse their children even into adulthood and use scriptures to assist them with their verbal abuse and manipulation. They make you feel guilty by telling you that you are not being loyal when you attempt to stand up for yourself. It is common to see little children trying to protect their parent(s)– remaining loyal, that have been physically and/or verbally abused by their parent. As an adult you should know better. There is a difference between instilling discipline and being controlling.

Loyal: having or showing complete and constant support for someone or something; faithful to a private person to whom fidelity is due

There is also a lot of resistance from people who feel that if they simply let their mother or father know that they will not continue to be disrespected, then they are not being loyal or are being disrespectful to their parent(s).

The verse rarely mentioned and often forgotten:

Ephesians 6:1-4 ESV: Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Colossians 3:21:
Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.

Abuse: to use wrongly or improperly; misuse: to abuse one’s authority; to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about; revile; malign.

We are thought that respect is given to parents by birth however that is not a free pass to belittle or degrade someone. When you choose to remain in any unhealthy relationship and consider yourself to be loyal and endure abuse inflicted by others, it justification for your decision to not take action.

The question for today:

Where do you draw the line and decide– what is being loyal vs being abused?
Feel free to share and as always the choice is yours.

Jamillah Foulkes~ Empower U

As you know misery loves company so the millisecond that you start to change for the better, all bets are off. People will start to turn on you, talk about and even feel free to speak to others on your behalf. The negativity will come from every angle, and hit you on every part of your being–including below the belt. The origin of the punches do not discriminate and will come from friends and family. The hardest part of your transformation will be the point when you act on your need to change. Do you have the stamina to outlast the negativity?

Remove yourself from your feelings and emotions for a moment, step back and observe the people that take the liberty upon themselves to observe you.

– they are one not going after what they desire
– they are the one sitting in relationships that are not healthy
– they are the one complaining about how they are being treated at work or at home
– they are the one viewing everything from a negative point of view
– they are the one saying “if only….”– waiting for something to come to them
– they are the one mistreating you– it gets worse when they realize that they are losing their punching bag or their partner in misery

THEY ARE THE ONE JUDGING YOU!!! It is all about the manipulation to lure you back down to their level.

Ask yourself some questions:
– Is your change in the best interest for you?
– Have the people “speaking on your behalf” ever asked you your point of view? If so, do they twist your words?
– Do they understand your struggle or how you have been damaged by your experiences? If so, do they care?

People get stuck in their own rut and they tell themselves that they are being selfless by enduring pain inflicted by others in order to justify what they do. Therefore it is hard for them to compute in their minds how you could possibly do something for yourself. They will use words like un-loyal, ungrateful, unappreciative and selfish to describe you. It is up to you to decide what is truly right– you are smart. That is why feelings and intelligence have such a love-hate relationship.

You can always hang around with misery, it invites people in everyday– as always the choice is yours.

Jamillah Foulkes~Empower U