Getting Yourself Noticed in Groups

Many people join groups and just lurk. They almost hope that no one notices them. It seems like a safe thing to do. If no one sees you, then they can’t reject you. They can’t say things that make you feel bad because they don’t even see that you are there. Lots of people do this and think it is a fine way to live life. Sometimes, on social media it can be called doomscrolling. When you do it in real life spaces, it is typically referred to as being a wall flower.

The important thing is though, that just showing up to groups does not help you form relationships with people. Some people think that it does, but it doesn’t. I mean, it should be obvious that if you don’t interact then people won’t notice you at all.

Sometimes people who label themselves as introverts just want to go home. They say things like “damn that party was so tiring, and now I can’t wait to leave and go to bed.” They feel like they got drained by interactions they did not really enjoy. Of course, if you need to network for business, or because you have a goal that requires you to network, then there is no way out of it. You have actually got to do something to get people to notice you and remember you.

The thing is, there is always this fear of rejection, as in, what if people don’t like me, or what if I am just wasting my time. One good way that is often very effective at getting yourself noticed in a group setting is to ask powerful questions. Not just lame comments about the weather, or things that have already been discussed, but something new.

If it doesn’t work out, if you realize at some point that the people and/or the group isn’t for you, there is nothing wrong with leaving and trying something else. Just because one thing did not work out does not mean anything in the long run.

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