Can your relationship survive after an cheating? There is no one simple answer to that question, but first let us define cheating.

There is one night stand that may be a single incident that many people have been guilty of at one time or another while involved in a committed relationship. It can also be with a different person during various times throughout the period when one is supposed to be committed to you. It is wrong regardless of the circumstances involved be it alcohol, anger or just plain lust or greed.

There is an affair in which someone has an intimate relationship with one person over a period of time and is sexual in nature.

There is the latest trend of emotional affairs when one divulges all their issues with their committed partner to another seeking validation and assurance and can include texting sexual fantasies, sexting and various intimate details. It is often seen as harmless because there is no actual sexual contact.

The worst case scenario is when someone incorporates all of the above without any empathy or regard for their committed partner.

These are all bad circumstances that can cut deep and have different affects on you depending on if you have been dating for a long period of time or married. It will hurt especially at the initial point when you realize that you have been cheated on or are currently being cheated on. It can be even more devastating if you have children with this person.

There are too many details and specifics to try to sum it all up in a blog however you can start to pick up the pieces for yourself by figuring out what category your situation falls into. Then you have to accept the fact that for every incident that you know about there may be others that you do not know about that may have started out as emotional affairs. There is no need to try an be a detective to figure out the details because the fact that it happened is more than enough. The questions that you need to ask yourself is:

– Can you live with this persons character?
– Are they showing TRUE regret or are they just sorry that they were caught?
– Are they doing things consistently to repair the situation?
– Are they being transparent from this moment forward? For example… Do you have access to email accounts, phone passwords and phone bills, credit card or banking information, etc… that you can access randomly?
– Can you trust them and feel confident that they have not created another email account that you do not know about?
– Are they allowing you to vent and go through the grieving process of the trust loss in the relationship or are they rushing you along and telling you to get over it?
– Are they blaming you for their indiscretions?
– Are they willing to seek help to repair the relationship via counseling, pastor or life coach?
– Do they show empathy and understanding of the devastation and pain that you are going through?

If you are married you need to ensure that you are checked out for a sexually transmitted disease (STD). I speak that point specifically to married couple because they usually do not think that they would get an STD from their partner and go untreated for a long period of time.

There is no easy answer but you have to ask yourself these questions at a minimum and answer them honestly. Whatever you choose, Empower U with the information to make an informed decision for your life.