The System
There are five steps in the system.
Step One: Discovery. This is where you determine what is the most important thing to you. What do you strive to obtain above all else. How does your life revolve around obtaining it? What are you doing to get this? How are you either not obtaining this or obtaining this on a primal level?
Questions to ponder. What is your most basic necessity? What is missing? What would having that mean to you? What is blocking you from taking the necessary steps necessary to obtain that? What actions would help you to obtain this? (Refer back to the 24 questions earlier in the course).
Step Two: Motivation. Weigh a life of pain, numbness, apathy and fear of having the life you are living with a life full of passion and joy. Weigh the life of wanting and needing to having.
Questions to ponder. What will you miss out on if you continue the way you are? How unfortunate will that be? What will you discover when you do change? How great will that be? What sort of life will you have if you stay the way you are? How unfortunate will that be? What sort of life will you have when you change? How great will that be? (See 24 questions earlier in the course)
Step 3: Energizing action. This is where you change your focus from what is missing from your life, the root of your unhappiness, to the solution. What alternative action can you take to get past this hurdle so you can have the life you desire and deserve? This is where you make a plan of action. This is best in small manageable steps. You don’t want to get overwhelmed with the process. Every time you meet a goal reward yourself.
You are currently doing some action which is filling this necessity. What is that? You have some habit that fills that desire. This step has to do with ending your old habit and creating a new and positive habit.
For example, you experience depression. Depression is filling the need for foundation. On a very primal level, you are getting a sense of comfort through depression. It may not seem that way, but you are. Depression is an old habit. In order to get rid of depression, you need an energizing alternative. This could be to take up a new hobby or make a challenge for some sort of personal improvement.
Questions to ponder: What stands between you and your goal? What can you do to take control of the situation so that you can get past the obstacle? What needs to get out of your life? What needs to get into your life? What are the steps you need to take? (Refer to the 24 questions earlier in the course)
Step 4: Re-enforcement. This is practicing the new habit or habits you created in step 3. When you start to practice your old habit, you need to stop yourself. Tell yourself to stop. Once you have stopped the old habit, think through the situation. What am I doing? Why am I doing that? What can I do instead? There should be at least one option available. Have a list of possible actions you can take when you meet certain hurdles. Every time you resist the old habit and practice the new habit reward yourself.
Step 5: Social support. This is where you work with other people. It could be people who have the same sort of hurdles in life or it can be family and friends who are supportive. It could be people you look up to because they are examples of the sort of person you would like to model. They are mentors. In the support system, you will tell these people what your goals are. Tell them what old habits you are trying to break, and what new habits you are trying to make. These are people who will make sure you do not falter. It is important that you be true to yourself in this step. If you are having a difficult time with your new habits, say so. Don’t say “I’m fine” if you are not. You also need to be open to criticism. Don’t think of it as putting you down. Think of it as help.
To consider: I want you to understand that old habits are challenging to break. But you made them and you can break them. They have to be replaced. Most likely you will fall back to your old habits because they are easy for you. That is why you started them in the first place. And it may be emotionally painful at times to continue on with the new habit. Remember that pain is the resistance to a sensation. In this case it is the resistance to the uncertainty of the new way of dealing with life. It is natural to want to resist the feeling of uncertainty. If however you allow yourself to feel the emotional pain and accept it fully, it becomes an intense feeling and you will have a sense of conquering an old low level habit. No matter how many detours or adjustments you have to make in your transition as long as you keep going in the direction of your goal you will meet your destination. If you keep your compass point, you will not get lost. If you want something with all your heart, you will get it.
Remember Hlidskjalf and the view from a very high place? The darkness first resists the dawn. But then the dawn created a whole new day. Your life is like the darkness. You are about to force the dawning. I know there can be resistance to change. You don’t know what to expect. No dream is impossible. Don’t let the fear of the unknown or failure stop you. If you have good social support, they will be there to catch you and push you on your quest to reach Hlidskjalf. Sometimes we have to face our fears to get that we most treasure and desire.