As a child not having siblings or friends for the most part, I learned early on that I had to do things all by myself. Sometimes I like it that way. You can do it your way. But sometimes it is hard. Sometimes it is crazy hard, and you want to give up. This is especially true with putting things together.
I don’t know how many times I have thought if someone could be here to just…. it would be so much easier. But no one is there and I feel so alone. I am determined to do the project but it is harder than it should be. There have been times I wanted to do something, assemble something and the product description says it will take 3-4 people to do the project. At that point, I have to choose another way of having something similar, but usually not so good. But then I just have to shrug my shoulders and accept that is the best I can do alone.
I don’t even know how to accept help. It makes me uncomfortable. I feel I owe someone a favor or money if they help. I don’t want to owe anyone anything so I prefer they just don’t help.