Self-knowledge leads to self-confidence. And confidence leads self-discipline. Confidence brings also the sense of being capable. So, let us examine some concepts that will help you to understand you better.
Neither your life nor life in general is out of control. I repeat life is not out of control. It may seem that way, but it is not. When it comes to our own life, if it seems out of control, it is because we have for some reason or another given control over to others. It was not done consciously. It was done as a matter of convenience. It was easier to let someone else be in charge than to deal with things our self. The good news is that you can take back control. Think about Dorothy in the “Wizard of Oz”. She always had the ability to go home, but she just did not know that she could.
Those who feel life is out of control are those who have what is known as an amiable personality. They are friendly. They are the people pleasers. They avoid confrontation. They avoid disagreements They let others have their way. These are the politically correct. Then, they wonder why they always feel imposed upon and used. Why is everyone always taking advantage of me?
Those who feel they have control over their life have what is known as the driver personality. They are demanding. They don’t worry about what others think about them. They do and say what they want. They stand firm and rarely compromise. They usually get everything they want.
In addition to this is what is known as the attribution theory. People who feel their life is out of their control or uncertain do not take responsibility for their own life. External forces dictate the path their life takes. It has to do with how the rest of the world treats them. It has to do with where they live. It has to do with how they were raised.
On the other side of the attribution theory are internal forces that dictate the path of their life. This has a lot to do with your thoughts. It is your attitude. It is the “I got this” attitude. It is the ability to focus on the solution to any issue that arises. It is the “Do it” attitude.
If external factors dictate your life you play the role of the victim. Life is stacked against you. If internal factors dictate your life, you are the rescuer. You save yourself from failure. You save yourself from being controlled.
From this you can see that how you see you is how you view your ability to control your own life. Your whole world revolves around your attitude of who is in charge. When you accept the idea you can change your world and take control, your world will never be the same. Events do not change. It is the perception we take that changes. When we wake up, we evolve. My mom used to say wake up and die right. I think she had something there.
Problems, issues or hurdles in life are a message. They tell us that we are not doing something right. You got off easy street and went down some bumpy dirt road. Being able to overcome these things is not what you do it is what you expect in life. It is important that we expect life to be happy. Change your attitude and your life changes. To some of you this may seem too simple. I get that. I used to hear people say things like happiness is a choice. Or all you have to do is have a positive attitude and I rolled my eyes. The reason this is hard for some to accept is that they make some progress in changing their attitude and then it stops. This happens because they don’t accept the world as it is. They are still stuck on the external forces as what makes the world go around. They have not accepted their own power.
The more time you spend going down the bumpy road of life we turn inward. We become tense. We look at those external factors to try to determine where it all went wrong. We examine our childhood. We examine our environment. We examine the choices we made. We look for missed opportunities. Then we think about the uncertainty of the future. Will things get worse? Do people think I am stupid? Am I wasting my life? All this thinking clutters the mind. Everything gets confused. Stress takes its toll. And then it gets worse. The focus is now on the bumpy road and not on how to back on easy street. What to do?
The mind needs to relax. But it can’t relax when all this focus is on the self. Focus outward. Focus on others. Focus on the world. Remember, it is not what we do that matters as much as what we expect. The key is to build up harmonious love. Learn to love the world and the beauty and joy that it has to offer. Look to those who have this, you will lose your fear and anxiety. You will embrace the possibilities. Your life will become meaningful.
My grandma used to say don’t want for too much or you will be disappointed. Now it is not to say that you should not expect good things in life. What I am saying is that wanting is lacking and you feel unfulfilled. It is important to change your thoughts from need to have. Think about all you have. It is more than you think. When you stop thinking about what you lack and focus on what you have, you will begin to receive. Good things will start coming into your life. Here is one last thought. Every blessing ignored is a lost treasure.