I don’t know about you, but right now I have so much I want to accomplish; so much that is new; and so much to do, that I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. I’m learning new skills that will eventually support me and help me create the future of which I dream. I’m interacting with a new group of people with their own set of cultural norms that as of yet I don’t fully understand. And work . . . don’t get me started on work. Everything is changing in ways not yet announced and we are short staffed. My life plate looks a lot like holiday dinner feast!
If you find yourself somewhere similar to me, you are probably finding your frustration high; your patience low; and you feel like you’re being buffeted by a storm. You’re probably wishing for clarity and a way through without being thoroughly drenched. And you’re probably finding that sheer willpower isn’t getting you the results you need.
So what do we do? We want to take charge of our lives, but a forceful approach, against an equally forceful gale wind in situations like this, just doesn’t work.
What Can You Control?
You have complete control of yourself – your words, actions, attitudes and thoughts. When I looked at my situation, I found I could . . .
- Schedule time to practice the new skills I was learning. I have friends that I know would be willing to help me out with it.
- Reach out to people I know and trust to broaden my knowledge base about cultural norms.
- Create a list of what my team and I needed to accomplish at work. I could work with them to prioritize it and figure out what information and resources we needed to complete the tasks. It may not solve everything, but at the least we have a clear picture of the situation and a map to follow.
- Journal to give myself a positive outlet for my feelings. Just getting the thoughts out of my head and onto paper starts clearing the mental dust.
- Make sure I take care of myself. For me this means eating right, exercising – I love taking long walks, and adding time for relaxation.
What Can You Influence?
Some things you can’t control, but you can still influence the outcome.
- I can ask others to pitch in and help my team out in the short term. Are there volunteer resources? Can we expedite mandatory training programs?
- I can’t control the amount of work my team and I need to accomplish, but I can influence the timelines, resources and information we have. Remember the list my team and I created when looking at our tasks, I can share that with my manager so that she knows what we are doing and what we need to accomplish everything we’ve been assigned.
What Is Out of Your Control?
Despite being an independent, take charge mother, there are some things over which you have absolutely no control. It can be helpful to make a list of them. When you find yourself focusing on one of them, take several deep breaths and then redirect your energy to something you can either control or influence. And do the small things first to have a sense of immediate accomplishment. Yeah! You can check that off!!
Julia Cameron once said,
“The creative process is a process of surrender, not control”
We must remember that we are creating a magnificent work of art – our lives; our journey; our destiny; our monument of human potential!
Photo: http://ministryhelp.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/storm.jpg