Growing up in Murray Hill in Manhatten, I had a deep and genuine connection to my mom.  I have this memory of standing on the wooden platform on Fire Island, the entrance to the beach, and telling her I loved her.  This memory today still sticks with me…it was probably one of my most powerful memories.  I am currently in the works of recovering a love like that between us for my mom, and for myself.  It’s a big challenge because we went through a very serious family crisis and there’s a long process of reconnection, forgivness, acceptance of each other, and realizing that we don’t really know who the other person is anymore.

In the case of my own story, I grew up as an introverted, shy kid. Early on it was recognized that I had trouble communicating with other kids, certainly not everyone, but it was big enough of a perceived issue that my mom sent me to this group therapy for me to be used to other people! Throughout my youth I struggled to effectively communicate my wants to other people. I was either too afraid in the case of telling a girl I liked her or just didn’t know how to be in a social setting. I often felt ignored or not seen or valued so I started just going off solo and distancing myself from other people. Meanwhile, my mom got me set up on piano, all kinds of sports and other activities which I really needed.  I’m still thankful for that. I also got into chess!  I think my social stuff worried my mom though, but for me going solo was what I needed; I needed space from conformity.  On the other hand I wanted my mom to give me more space, to watch from more of a distance while I did my thing, messed up and struggled with doing the right thing.  I felt like I wasn’t given enough independence, chances to fail and grow through my failures. 

After getting to college I had more of a sense of freedom.  Without the video games to distract me further I learned over the course of the next four years to communicate with other people on my own terms instead of on theirs, to feel confident in my social interactions. I built compassion and trust for other people in general, and most importantly I continued my kind of thrilling journey to stand up for what I really wanted, which was to really be in the world, to share my gifts, and to reach people with ideas that could help them move forward in their lives!  Having been through heartbreaking struggles with family members and having improved those relationships from a point where the other person isn’t giving you what you need, whether that’s being listened to, seen, or respected, to finally getting what you need… well I think this brings a lot more peace into one’s life.  If you’re seeking to resolve conflict or improve your relationship with your kid yet feel stuck, I’m here to offer my support. Helping you to stand up for what you really want from your child and to break through with real love is something we can talk about in the session.  So I ask that you give it a chance, contact me for a free forty-five minute sample session (if we go over that’s fine).

My email is samfishman24@gmail.com if you wish to contact me with questions, including if you have trouble booking an appointment.