Throughout our life we come across many challenges, whether it’s climbing a mountain, raising children, or overcoming a debilitating illness, etc. All of these demands can weigh us down if we don’t stop and preverbally “smell the roses.” We have to enjoy life not just trudge through it.
All of these challenges require great time, effort, money, and resources that aren’t easily obtainable. Our body is not always able to accommodate, we don’t know where to find the resources, or these stressors keep building up at a rapid pace. These situations can all be difficult, but we can’t let it stop us and there’s a way that can help soften the load.
How to enjoy life more?
Make sure that you’re taking care of yourself.
If you’re climbing a mountain; take breaks and enjoy the view that you’ve worked so hard to attain. If it’s raising kids, it’s doing something nice for yourself whether it’s:
going outside for a drive or a nice, leisurely walk.
For those of you with debilitating illnesses such as fibromyalgia, it’s looking at the small victories that you’ve done each day. Some days just getting out of bed or taking a shower is a win. Other days you’re able to get out and do some errands or go on a short walk.
No matter what you’re doing whether it’s climbing a mountain or battling a mountainous feeling condition. You have to look for the little things in life to be grateful for or just be kind to yourself in this arduous process.
Uncertainty what an interesting word. It’s something that I don’t like. I like to be in control. I like to know what’s going on and what I need to do to make the result that I’d like to happen. This isn’t life though and I’m learning the more that I try to let go. The happier my fibro body is.
When experiencing any type of stressor in life there comes with it a certain amount of stress. If I try to worry about all the different aspects that I can’t control, and boy does my anxious brain try. Then my stress level goes up and as a result my pain increases.
Mountain Analogy
Think of it this way. I’m climbing a mountain. I have a good sense of the direction I need to go and know how many miles the hike is. Yet, if I begin to worry about how much water I have, will I have enough? What type of food I need to make sure my body is getting during the duration of the hike? Is there harder terrain, than I trained for? It can go on and on…Then I’m using up needless energy that I need to stay focused on the climb.
It’s the same in a fibro body. If I start to worry about what other people will think of me when I’m talking to them? Am I being a good parent? Why aren’t my boys doing what I ask? If I attach to every unmet outcome. Well, then I’m using needless energy and my fibromyalgia symptoms begin to flare up.
How to lessen unneeded stress?
There’s a technique called The Triad Stress method that’s referred to in the book, “The Fibromyalgia Solution”, by David Dryland MD with Lorie List. Basically, you start to notice different triggers like envy, judgment, fear of acceptance or rejection, etc. and you ask yourself is this really worth a fibromyalgia flare? The third part is to do the opposite of what your brain is trying to do in an uncertain situation.
If you want to talk more about this, send me an email or add a comment and let’s have a discussion. Also if you’d like to see if professional coaching could help you, let’s set up a time to do a sample session on the house.
Have you ever felt like you were making so much progress in your life and then setback after setback keeps on happening?? Some of these setbacks are a result of poor planning, others are the result of unrealistic expectations, and others are just the result of the natural part of life. At times these challenges/trials can come on with such intensity and ferocity that the only thing you can do is hold on to whatever faith in a higher power you have or belief in to get you through. This is what I’ve been experiencing recently.
My Fibro experience
For the past year and a half, I have been building myself back up from a perceived failure. At that time, I was working as a psychiatric technician on a behavioral health unit, I was training and studying to become a licensed addictions professional. I believe I’ve told this story before, so the short of the long of it is I was at my dream internship and then was let go, due to inability to perform the required tasks. I attributed this to my newly confirmed diagnosis of fibromyalgia and the stressors causing my symptoms to flare-up at the time. On came the feeling of failure, depression, worthlessness, etc. However, this crushing fall led to something far greater; a knowledge of who I really am and what I’m really dealing with. You see I thought I was just dealing with anxiety/depression, but the real culprit is/was fibromyalgia.
The Fibro refining process
Once I began to pick up the pieces of yet another perceived failure in my life. I started to learn all I could about fibromyalgia. That was my life’s work for the past 2 years. Learning to do what I needed to heal. This is a process. Once I felt strong enough, I decided to take on two very challenging, yet different endeavors. The first is a calling in my ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I’m a singing music leader for kids ages 4-11. I thought this would be great for me. I love to sing. Well, little did I know this experience is stretching me further than I’ve ever been stretched before with a calling. There’s the getting up in front of people, which my social anxiety doesn’t like, the planning, prepping, performing, executing, attending to the kids, etc. Wow, that’s a lot. The other is me starting this fibromyalgia coaching business. Now, I’m pretty experienced with fibromyalgia and what to do to treat my symptoms. What I have next to zero experience in is marketing/ running a business. Which is a whole different challenge to deal with.
The Resolve
I’m not going to lie. Throughout these two very challenging endeavors. I’ve had thoughts to give up, I’ve walked and/or am walking through the valley of sorrow. Yet, I’m committed to keep moving forward no matter how many times I fall down and stumble. Fibromyalgia is a refining and journey and I’m learning to accept that. Plus, that’s where the greatest growth comes that enables me to scale yet another mountain.
What challenges are you currently facing in your life either with fibromyalgia or caring for a loved one with fibromyalgia? What is it about that challenge that helps you to want to keep moving forward and stay committed to the goals you have set?
So, a year and a half ago I went on a hike in the dead of winter. It was frigid, it was snowy and there was lots of fog. I did not see it when starting at the trailhead, nor when I began hiking. It wasn’t until I began my climb that the conditions began to become more foggy. For a time all I could see were a few feet in front of me and that’s all I needed to see to keep my self safely on the trail. When I got to the summit there was still fog, but enough break in the clouds to see how far I had come.
I feel like all of us have some foggy days in our lives. There are times when we’re not getting enough sleep, not eating the right foods or are under a lot of stress. All of these can be a prime recipe for some mental fogginess. Yet, most people can still function cognitively fairly well. Those of you with fibromyalgia, I empathize with you of how difficult having brain fog can be.
Even on a good day it feels like my brain is mostly clear, but is still experiencing some passing clouds so to speak. My memory is mostly there, I can think clear most of the time. My ability to think of words and speak well are pretty locked in. The aforementioned stressors that can contribute to brain fog becomes pretty frustrating when I’m taking care of myself physically or mentally. On those days it’s like trying to find my way through a thick fog and happen to find a good tree to hold on to get me through the day.
It’s kind of ironic because while writing this I’m experiencing some moderate brain fog. I’m taking a little bit longer than usual in thinking of words or putting together ideas.
So on those days when the fog is there to stay, what do I do you may ask? Well, the first thing I try to do is accept the situation and be kind to myself. I then begin to analyze what’s causing the fog and if there are any interventions that I can implement. I almost always have my phone with me so I can write down any important information that my wife tells me, or a phone call that I’m on. I carry a little black book around with me where I can start to work on my negative thinking patterns if my brain is too foggy to do this in my mind. I try to give myself breaks and recognize that I may not be able to accomplish all that I wanted to and that’s okay.
Now, I’m not totally there with acceptance of the fog. I have come a long way and I know you can too. Try to implement a few of my strategies or come up with your own of what can help. No matter what, don’t give up on yourself! You can figure this out with the right tools and help.
