He is a military veteran who is returning this semester after a less-than-stellar one-term enrollment at another college campus several years ago. Following a medical discharge from service, he decided to finish the degree he began. I am his campus mentor this semester. Because he is on academic probation, his participation in mentoring is mandatory.
I readily admit a positive bias for our men and women who swear the oath to defend, to the death if necessary, our country. The overwhelming majority of veterans I have worked with are a joy to help. They will say things like, “oh, ma’am, believe me–I have had to do worse than this and be happy about it.” So when I can be kind in the midst of some mandatory policy, I will do it. Out of respect for the uniform this student had worn and a gut feeling that he would respond with greater trust in me, I did something really crazy. I threw out the mentoring syllabus. The offer I made him instead? As long as he attended regularly and was willing to share his achievements and challenges, he could set the agenda for the meetings. I would share information and referrals at the points they would be most immediately beneficial to him.
When we began our work, he did not articulate a long-term goal for the semester, choosing instead to concentrate on achieving excellence week-by-week. So our sessions started with the basics: he brought in his syllabi, I created
spreadsheets with weekly assignments, exams, and project deadlines, and he named a “goal” grade and a “good enough” grade. For the first six or seven weeks, our entire conversation was all about what assignments he had completed the week before, with the occasional question from me about the actions he had taken to achieve his successes.
Four weeks in, with some early successes under his belt, I no longer had to prompt him to tell me how he “did it.” He came in ready to talk.
And then about two weeks ago, he shifted again. He is now processing his weekly assignment schedule with me in about half the time he did earlier. The rest of the time he is beginning to talk about the future with hope. he has figured out how to ask for support when he needs it. But he has built afoundation of responsibility and diligence in the day-to-day studying and class attendance. He is on target to reach all of his “good enough” grades and most of his “goal grades.” His instructors go above and beyond for him. He is confident yet not brash about his chances to complete his chosen major. And in the last two weeks, he has also shared dreams about exploring his creative interests (fiction writing) for balance in his life from the analytical side of school and future work.
We began with feet on the ground. He is now cruising at a safe but majestic altitude and I am–well, gee–what am I? I started as co-pilot and now I am just kind of enjoying the ride.
I am once again reminded of and reinforced with the basics of offering benefit and value to others. It starts with listening, helping them clarify their goals at their pace, and honoring their agenda. When they take off and take action, it is fun. When they struggle, I hang in there if they do. But it is always, ALWAYS, an exciting adventure to draw out the dreams and the doing of the human spirit.
I won’t be his mentor much longer, but if he chooses to keep me on as his coach, I will do that. Whatever happens, he joins that elite group of unforgettable clients who helped me grow as a counselor, coach, and practitioner.
They are why I am proud to be in this profession.
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I coach those in education or career transition to integrate their passions and their skills for lifelong success.
Passion/Purpose. Plan. Performance 3P Coaching.