The societal expectations on moms are rising and so are burnout and mental health issues among moms. This is my list of beliefs that should be eliminated in 2023 for moms regardless of where you live. It’s important to eliminate, replace and refresh some previous beliefs and grow and evolve with time.
Being perfect – there’s really, no such thing as being perfect, the sooner we realize that, the easier it will be to adjust our expectations. From the way we look to the way we should act and conduct ourselves, there is a constant cloud hovering around our shoulders. Free that word from your mind and you’ll feel lighter instantly. Embrace yourself with all your imperfections. We should all try to be perfect mothers, co-workers, wives, sisters, and friends but allow some days, to not be perfect, don’t let perfection consume your life and well-being.
Social media is not real – Let’s remind ourselves that everything you see on social media isn’t REAL, this Instagram picture-worthy life has led many women to believe that’s the reality for everyone. Keep in mind, some of your influencers are in partnership with other brands, it’s a business transaction to showcase certain brands. Don’t take social media so seriously, when you feel like it’s impacting you at a deeper level, consider taking a social media break.
Self-care is selfish – Wanting some time to yourself to recharge mentally and physically isn’t selfish, as a matter of fact, it’s the opposite, why? In order, for your body to function at an optimal level, you must take care of it. Think of yourself as a luxury car, you need to maintain it, for it to ride fast and smooth right? If the car breaks down, you can’t do anything. So, self-care is maintenance and it reduces burnout, anxiety, and the likelihood of lashing out at others (fact).
Being competitive – This is, unfortunately, very true nowadays, competition exists in communities, school, work, friends, and family circles. Let’s look at others’ success, as inspiration, not competition. This competitive culture we’re infusing is not healthy in any way and teaches our children to be in constant competition in order to be better. Let’s strive to work together, and inspire and motivate one another.
Helicopter parenting – Yes, now there’s a difference between being a helicopter parent and a concerned parent, let’s examine the difference. A helicopter parent is overprotective and overly concerned, always fights their children’s battles, and protects them from failing. This mindset doesn’t work for many reasons: it doesn’t allow the child to fail and learn from their mistakes, solve their own problems, and face failure. Keep in mind, a good parent should always advocate for their child and provide, protect and comfort them BUT as parents, we also must give some space for the children to fail to learn resiliency and strength. The workforce and educational institutions will be more competitive than ever for our children, and we won’t be able to rescue them as adults, so it’s imperative we give children the tools and skills to be able to cope, figure out their own problems and allow them to learn from their mistakes.
These expectations don’t help much long term mentally, let’s start shifting our perspective and refreshing what family, society, and friends expect from us and reflect on what mindsets can make us more successful and above all, better moms for our children.