Category: Blog

The holiday season, usually a time of joy and participation in various events, isn’t always cheerful for some families, including mine. Navigating this season with a child with a rare illness introduces a significant level of unpredictability and stress to our daily lives.

Let’s dig into the complexities of holiday gift-giving. If your child has many providers at school that are part of their IEP team. So, between a general education teacher, a special education teacher, and therapists at school, the task of gift-giving becomes intricate. The obligation to give to one while potentially neglecting others adds financial pressure. Despite the financial aspect, it’s another task to manage, making the season a balancing act. Through my journey, I’ve learned to adapt, being more generous in some years and limiting gifts during medical challenges without guilt.

Also, the holiday season serves as a constant reminder of our unique family circumstances, magnified by social media and TV portrayals. Witnessing other children achieving milestones difficult for our own can evoke a sense of unfairness.

For parents of immunocompromised children like mine, the stress is heightened, limiting our activities during winter break due to the risk of illness. Navigating crowded spaces, especially during holiday shopping, poses a risk of illness that can extend into the winter break, impacting travel plans. The sensory overload of the holidays, marked by loud noises and flashing lights, can be overwhelming. Additionally, societal pressure to indulge in sweets, particularly during holiday parties, creates challenges for children with medical reasons to avoid excessive sugar.

While winter break offers a brief respite from school routines, it doesn’t necessarily mean a break for parents. Caring for a child without the structure of school can lead to behavioral issues, adding to the challenges of managing homes, work, and other children. Winter break can be an exhausting time for moms providing round-the-clock care. Winter break is not a “break” but we push through and manage life, the way we have been throughout our journey.

Thanksgiving is a time for gratitude, family, and feasting, but for parents of children with special needs, it can introduce unique challenges into the celebration. In this article, we’ll explore some common issues special needs families face during Thanksgiving and offer practical tips to make the holiday enjoyable for everyone involved.

1. Guests and Routine Disruptions:

Having extra guests can disrupt the carefully crafted routines of special needs families. To mitigate this, strive to maintain a sense of normalcy. Stick to your routine as much as possible, and communicate with guests about the importance of consistency for your child. Planning ahead and setting clear expectations can help create a more comfortable environment for everyone.

2. Traveling Challenges:

For families hitting the road during Thanksgiving, especially those with children with special needs, travel can be a daunting prospect. To ease the process, prepare well in advance. Pack essentials, create a visual schedule for the trip, and mentally prepare your child for the change in routine. Planning ahead ensures a smoother travel experience for both parents and children.

3. Health Concerns:

With flu season and other health risks, it’s essential to establish guidelines for guests, especially if your child is immunocompromised. Clearly communicate expectations, asking unwell guests to stay home or wear masks to protect the health of your child. Prioritizing health and setting boundaries can create a safer Thanksgiving environment.

4. School Break Challenges:

The break from school routines can pose challenges for children accustomed to structure. Combat this by creating a schedule for days without school, therapies, or after-school classes. Providing a sense of structure helps manage behavior and eases the transition back to the regular routine after the holiday.

5. Seeking Assistance:

Thanksgiving preparations can be overwhelming for any parent, but especially so for those with special needs children. Don’t hesitate to accept help when offered. Enlist support from family and friends to share the workload. Remember, it’s okay to seek assistance; you don’t have to be a superhero. Asking for help ensures a more enjoyable Thanksgiving experience for everyone.

Thanksgiving with special needs children may present challenges, but with thoughtful planning and open communication, it can also be a joyful and fulfilling time. By addressing routine disruptions, travel concerns, health precautions, and school break challenges, families can create an inclusive and harmonious Thanksgiving celebration. So, embrace the support offered, plan ahead, and make this Thanksgiving a time of warmth, love, and shared memories.

The societal expectations on moms are rising and so are burnout and mental health issues among moms. This is my list of beliefs that should be eliminated in 2023 for moms regardless of where you live. It’s important to eliminate, replace and refresh some previous beliefs and grow and evolve with time.

Being perfect – there’s really, no such thing as being perfect, the sooner we realize that, the easier it will be to adjust our expectations. From the way we look to the way we should act and conduct ourselves, there is a constant cloud hovering around our shoulders. Free that word from your mind and you’ll feel lighter instantly. Embrace yourself with all your imperfections. We should all try to be perfect mothers, co-workers, wives, sisters, and friends but allow some days, to not be perfect, don’t let perfection consume your life and well-being.

Social media is not real – Let’s remind ourselves that everything you see on social media isn’t REAL, this Instagram picture-worthy life has led many women to believe that’s the reality for everyone. Keep in mind, some of your influencers are in partnership with other brands, it’s a business transaction to showcase certain brands. Don’t take social media so seriously, when you feel like it’s impacting you at a deeper level, consider taking a social media break.

Self-care is selfish – Wanting some time to yourself to recharge mentally and physically isn’t selfish, as a matter of fact, it’s the opposite, why? In order, for your body to function at an optimal level, you must take care of it. Think of yourself as a luxury car, you need to maintain it, for it to ride fast and smooth right? If the car breaks down, you can’t do anything. So, self-care is maintenance and it reduces burnout, anxiety, and the likelihood of lashing out at others (fact).

Being competitive – This is, unfortunately, very true nowadays, competition exists in communities, school, work, friends, and family circles.  Let’s look at others’ success, as inspiration, not competition. This competitive culture we’re infusing is not healthy in any way and teaches our children to be in constant competition in order to be better. Let’s strive to work together, and inspire and motivate one another.

Helicopter parenting – Yes, now there’s a difference between being a helicopter parent and a concerned parent, let’s examine the difference. A helicopter parent is overprotective and overly concerned, always fights their children’s battles, and protects them from failing. This mindset doesn’t work for many reasons: it doesn’t allow the child to fail and learn from their mistakes, solve their own problems, and face failure. Keep in mind, a good parent should always advocate for their child and provide, protect and comfort them BUT as parents, we also must give some space for the children to fail to learn resiliency and strength. The workforce and educational institutions will be more competitive than ever for our children, and we won’t be able to rescue them as adults, so it’s imperative we give children the tools and skills to be able to cope, figure out their own problems and allow them to learn from their mistakes.

These expectations don’t help much long term mentally, let’s start shifting our perspective and refreshing what family, society, and friends expect from us and reflect on what mindsets can make us more successful and above all, better moms for our children.