Category: Blog

It’s that time of the year, the new year starts and almost everyone wants to reset and start fresh and develop goals for the next year. As a life coach, this is what I mainly do, set goals set up by clients to overcome the obstacles and challenges they are experiencing. However, I’ve learned over the years these are the most common mistakes people often make that make it difficult to keep their goals.

The most common mistakes:

1.   Goals are not practical, this is very common unfortunately, most of my clients set goals that are not fitting to their circumstances and situation. Setting up unrealistic goals without having awareness of your current situation will cause frustration and instant regression.

For example – wanting to lose weight and setting a goal to go to the gym every day.

Now, this may seem like a practical goal but let’s examine the unique situation of this mom. The client is a single mom, that works full-time and has lack of help with childcare. This goal will not be feasible based on her circumstances.  However, a new goal may sound like this:

New goal – I want to lose weight and will work out at home on the weekdays and go to the gym on the weekends.

Now, this goal is more fitting for this mom, a workout at home through workout apps, and videos and on the weekends arrange childcare in advance to go to the gym.

2.   Goals are not set in a multi-step process, but rather as one big step.

Let me elaborate on this, most clients (in my case usually moms) set a goal that requires many steps to achieve and they expect it to happen in one step. Goals don’t work like that, you always have to ask, what steps do I need to take to get to that goal?

Example – Reducing intake of junk food for 2023.

Now, this is a great example, but let’s dig deep. If you have spent a large part of your life eating junk food, it’s going to take longer to not consume it daily as it’s become a part of your lifestyle. This will require tapering and practically speaking more steps to achieve.

New goal – Can only eat junk food on weekends only, start substituting junk food with healthier alternatives.

This is a more realistic approach for many reasons, if you set a day when you’re allowed to have junk food, your body won’t be deprived. To facilitate less consumption, substituting with healthier alternatives will be a great way to fill your calories in a healthier way.

3.   No motivation to seek change, this is important, ask yourself why you are setting this goal, is it for yourself? societal pressure? your family?  The motivation behind the goals is significant, if you’re doing it for the wrong reasons or being forced to do it, it will not facilitate ANY change even by the best professionals. Personal motivation is key to wanting to seek change in our behavior and lifestyle.

I hope this article helps and sheds light on how to make goals that are practical, detailed, and motivational. Let this new year, allow you to start fresh, reset and erase bad habits and start with healthier goals, cheers!

          With school starting around the corner, it can be overwhelming to get everything done before school starts. However, the key is organization and planning, don’t wait till the last minute to fill out forms or order supplies for your child. The paperwork can be time-consuming, but you can space it out between a few days to lessen the load.

• Make a list of everything that needs to be done.
• Notify the school if any changes in your child’s medical history occurred over the summer.
• Fill out medical forms to administer medication and signed in advance by a physician.
• Order extra medicine, if it needs to be kept at school.
• Order adaptive tools for the classroom with school supplies. These examples included noise cancellation headphones, bright line paper, privacy board, etc.
• Fill out medical forms, in advance, this can be time-consuming if your child has an extensive medical history, so take care of it before school starts. You want to have a plan of care/treatment established once they start school.
• Review your child’s IEP/ 504 plan, and check the accommodations and academic goals. If there are new accommodations that may have to take place, notify the school.
• If your child struggles with transitions, please prepare them for school a few weeks in advance. Often a new classroom and teacher can cause some children to experience anxiety.
• Have your child’s transportation (bus, carpooling, etc.) finalized.
• If you’re a working mom, decide on the after-school care of your child.
• Make sure your emergency contacts in the school’s system are correct and up to date, out of courtesy always inform the individual first. Also, have that contact store your child’s school number, in case of an emergency, so the call doesn’t get missed or categorized as spam calls.
• Label your child’s water bottle, binder, and jacket, some children can get overwhelmed easily, but labels on their items at school provide them with visual cues that help them pack up easier when school is dismissed.
• Get your children excited about school, kids will pick up your energy rather than it being an anxiety-provoking experience shift it to a fun place you can learn and see your friends.
• Some children take longer to adjust to a new routine, or environment than others, if that’s the case, give your child some time to adjust and help with the transition rather than being aggressive.
• Reschedule summer sports activities, therapies, and appointments to reflect the school schedule.

As a Life Coach, I have a lot of clients that experience burnout from taking care of their special needs children. These children can have disabilities, impairments, developmental delays, or serious illnesses that require an extensive amount of attention and care. These moms are constantly focused on the care of their children and consequently forget the importance of self-care. What does self-care even mean you might wonder. This includes taking care of your health and well-being not only physically but mentally as well. Neglecting self-care will eventually lead to “mom burnout”. It can become difficult to function in a healthy and productive manner with depleted energy. Remember, some time is better than no time at all, even if you get a few minutes all to yourself. It can be complete bliss. So, to all the special needs moms out there: start with an active commitment to dedicating some self-care time daily or weekly in your schedule.

            Let’s do it! First, make a list of activities you enjoy. This could entail anything that alleviates your stress and uplifts your mood. Second, look at your current schedule and find small open time slots you have available. The key is to start small. Let’s say you have 20 minutes of free time between appointments and meetings, use that time slot available to go jogging around the neighborhood (or anything on your desired list). This is a good way to add self-care to your schedule and once it’s on the calendar, you will most likely be inclined to complete it. It’s easy to get preoccupied with work, household chores, cleaning, kids, or family. However, recognizing the importance of self-care not only replenishes your energy but also gives you a form of control that empowers you. The following are some more ideas to squeeze in some self-care in your daily schedule. Keep in mind, just a few minutes of self-care daily can have many lasting benefits.

• Grab a coffee
• Get a massage/facial/pedicure/manicure  
• Cook your favorite food
• Going out for a meal
• Watch your favorite movie/show
• Listen to your favorite music that uplifts your mood
• Meet with friends to catch up, or do a virtual meetup through Zoom or Facetime. Talking is still more interactive than texting!
• Read a few pages of your favorite book
• Exercise/meditate
• Engage in a hobby