Category: Blog

How can you co-exist together with the kids screaming and fighting with one another while keeping the house calm and quiet? Well that’s hard, so let’s dissect the situation, if you remain calm the kids will pick up your energy and do the same. Maybe, it’s time to put on a brave face and be more of a counselor aka neutral party than a mom. These techniques might help, remember it’s all about trial and error.
       
1. Make the kids do chores together as a team this will help (laundry, cleaning up the table, taking out trash) once they do this then give them a reward (ice cream, more TV time ETC).

2. Take their privileges away when they act up and let them earn it back, they’ll realize they have no choice but to get along. Or work for a common goal, if they get along, they can earn movie night towards the end ETC.

3.) Encourage joint activities, this works for my kids, make the kids draw a picture of one another and write something nice about one another. You’ll be surprised this helps kids realize the nice things the kids have to say about one another.

4.) Make a designated area for the kids, maybe a corner, a bench, when their fights get crazy make the kids sit on it together and have them write or if they can’t write, talk about their feelings and what they did wrong, verbalize those emotions!

5.) Teach your kids to sort out petty issues themselves. Sometimes jumping in a conflict every time, the kids get so accustom to it they don’t know how to problem solve themselves.

Every now and then we get frustrated and upset with our kids over every small thing and strive for them to be perfect. However, this article is to help us embrace our kids’ shortcomings and flaws and embrace them for who they are. When our children came into this world they came with their own personalities and genes. As parents, that’s where we must recognize if our kids are a little different from us, it’s okay and instead of getting upset and frustrated with their personality differences learn to recognize and accept them. As a parent you can’t expect your kids to be exactly like the way you want them to be, they can’t be little cookie cutter or cloned versions of you. If you have a child that has different personality traits from yours, learn to acknowledge and accept it.

My children are just 12 and 9, I love the fact they are a combination of my Husband and I mixed with a  product of their environment. Instead, of taking a child’s personality trait as a negative (socially awkward, shy, not friendly, too quiet) learn to accept them for who they are and every trait from your perspective that might be negative, isn’t really that bad after all. At the end, if we accept them as tiny human beings that have a unique set of traits that were give and not place a judgement, we would all be better parents. For example, if you  have a child let’s say that’s shy right now doesn’t necessarily mean they will always be like that, some kids go through phases.

As parents, once you realize your spending all the time trying to control your child into being what you want them to be you’ll miss out on moments that make them truly unique. Hug and kiss your kids every day and remember they came into this world as unique individuals that may be different from us or a reflection of us, regardless let’s embrace and love and control and criticize less.

Let’s start with talking about self-care, perhaps a foreign concept to many, it essentially means taking care of your physical and mental health and putting yourself first. As a Life Coach, I have so many clients that have a hard time managing self-care in their crazy schedules which ultimately over time results in mom burnout. Interestingly, these moms are great at scheduling therapies, appointments, and IEPs for their kids but when it comes to doing something for themselves they don’t have the time and the excuses come out, sound familiar? let’s dig deeper.

          Many moms experience feelings of guilt, putting themselves first before the family makes them feel selfish. The guilt drives many moms to not give themselves a priority, it’s important to challenge those thoughts. Believe me, it’s hard to break this habit especially as moms we’re wired to care for and nurture others. That’s why I encourage moms to start with small goals and work their way up. First, make a list of self-care goals (big or small) you would like to achieve then if you experience some reluctance ask yourself “what’s holding me back?” in reaching that change. Dig deeper, gaining insight can be valuable in understanding why you’re “stuck”. Just a friendly reminder, you’re in charge of your life and it’s up to you to prioritize yourself. Self-care isn’t being selfish it’s being aware of your own needs that can get lost in being a special needs mom. Lastly, self-care serves many benefits as it uplifts and replenishes energy to function better as a mom.